Silver Maple

On the night before heading to Oregon I went outside and touched forehead to Mother tree. At that moment, I knew that trees perform reiki on people out of compassion. Simple thought but far reaching.

The title says it all.  Every day his eyesight is getting better which is a great relief to us all here.

My son's surgery went well, lots of tiny stitches.  Luckily the wound was on the edge between the iris and the white of the eye.  He has lots of eye drops and follow up but the prognosis is fairly good all things considered. Thanks to all who provided good wishes.  Additional help now is needed in keeping infection down (and helping him maintain the regimen the ophthalmologist laid out.

My son Galen somehow stabbed himself in the eye while cooking and is in a hospital in Portland Oregon awaiting possible eye surgery.  Prayers and healing energy for a positive outcome are appreciated.

We manage to get to the hotel on time for Saturday workshops.  We begin with Aeptha's Egyptian Midnight Sun ritual.  I know zero about the Kemetics but there is a little pre-ritual briefing that explains some. But fundamentally, this is not my home.  I am grateful for a little energy boost but nothing more happens.

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Overall, this has been the best conference since 2009.  The rituals and presenters were strong, the attendees were knowledgeable and interested and magic happened.  We signed up for 2014 with Selena Fox, M. Macha Nightmare and Orion Foxwood.

For years, I have been allergic to Katrina Messenger.  I generally do not deal well with brash people. Over time, I've been learning that  aversion means that I need to pay attention.  The first glimmer of this was at the Between the Worlds Conference last December.  Who would have known that Katrina was going to do an entire myers-briggs and paganism discussion, an area that I am very interested in.   I began to see other dimensions of her through this workshop and came away with a more positive understanding.

So it was that when I saw her on the conference schedule for a ritual, I was very interested in attending.  The ritual began with an invocation to Brigid, which is always a good sign.  We did a pathworking with chant that led us to a pool of water.  The ritual was in two parts.  Part one was to identify the face of your double reflected back in the water. After a bit of time, a sycamore tree presented itself, which I thought was interesting, but being druidic did not shock me.  The second part was to see your companion self - anima, animus whatever.

OBOD ovate work does the second part very well.  Without revealing details, early on you develop a companion self, although in Philip Carr-Gomm's beautifully indirect way, you might not immediately recognize it.  So I was not surprised to see her face form in the water, this time more dark haired/fair skinned Celtic than Native American.  I reached out to her as an old friend,  made physical contact  and stayed in communion.  The message here was to reconnect and I was grateful for that.

Afterwards, I asked Katrina about the tree.  She was fairly surprised and then went into a very direct discussion of precisely why that was a challenge.  The double is your image in the world.  You can have ego inflation and get a lion in the pool of vision or ego deflation and get a mouse or some such.  She went on that the first generation of pagan teachers were ego inflated and that having a realistic double was critical to mental health and work in the community.

I don't see the sycamore as either ego inflation or deflation, but an inaccuracy.  Among other things, it indicates a general disconnection from the real world that may be limiting what I can accomplish. It may be a defensive -not revealing my self to the world.  Certainly this is part of the dark side of the INTP.

Coming out of this, I wonder whether I need to follow up with Katrina through some sort of spiritual counseling. 

Arrived in Laurel with not much time to spare before the opening ritual.  Around the room I see many familiar faces.  We are treated to Gwendolyn Reece's invocation of Athena in Greek and then an invocation of Odin an unusual pair of deities to share a conference.  We sing and we march  through the hotel establishing haven in all the conference rooms.  Afterwards, the first round of hugs for folks I have not seen for a year and those seen more recently at the Between the Worlds rite and FreeSpirit gathering. I feel like I am among my people again.

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We give up on dinner for the moment.  I spend some time with Richard at the pottery stand and it is as though no time has transpired since the Summer.  More greetings and more hugs around.  I have a short intense discussion with an Obod druid concerning ogam and how she needs to get erynn999 's book on the subject. Said druid has the most geographically distributed seed group in history covering multiple states along the eastern seaboard.  I here of an OBOD Beltane gathering and the thought is interesting.  No matter where I am in my spiritual life, my home territory is still druidry.

On to Katrina Messenger's ritual but that deserves a separate post.

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The rainbow was behind my back but this was more interesting.  LJ compression muddies a lot of the real beauty of the not quite dark areas.  I am doing other things besides photography - reiki and an online course with Thorn Coyle. But today, this is what made me happy.

My first dslr. tiny bit of color tweaking and sharpening.  Otherwise right out of the box (Pentax K-30, 50mm)

A little less than five years ago I was in the midst of a spiritual storm,  I had a direct and immediate experience with Brigit that rearranged my life both in permanent and temporary ways. For weeks, my senses were wide open, so much so that I was infected by emotional states around me.  Brigit was a constant presence behind my right shoulder.    It was impossible for me to be judgmental.  I saw clearly that every being was really doing the best they could.  For weeks I lived in this heart of compassion, psychically on fire. 

Two weeks into this, I received an email to report for a random polygraph, something that I had successfully avoided for 11 years of my career in the intelligence community (administrative, no cloaks and daggers). After four hours answering the same questions posed in different ways  I began to get this crazy idea that this was Brigit's way of moving me on to my next career.  And so, I prayed to Her and put it in her hands, pointing out that I had a son in high school and this may not be the best time for a change.  Within one minute, the polygrapher told me that I had passed and I was done.  I called all the relevant people and went home fairly shaken by the experience.

Over time the heart of compassion faded along with the extra sensitivities and clairvoyance.  But in the back of my mind, I knew that in five years time, something would change and it would likely be me.  Fast forward to August of 2012 and we found out that we were not successful in a contract recompete.  There were mini contract extensions, but it was clear that the end was near. I did not seek employment with another company and I walked out the door on December 20th. I've spent the last weeks with my son on his final college break. 

At this point, I am waiting for signs and omens  .Perhaps they will lead to a calling as a healer or it may just be that I'll end up helping people in small ways.  Imbolg tide is beginning its pull (flocks of robins in January!) and I am remaining open to potential.